Very rare are couples that never seem to run into some bumps along the road. If you are well able to recognize what troubled relationship issues you and your partner will be facing ahead of time, then you always have a much better chance of getting past such bumps successfully.

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Experts are keen in pointing out that despite the ups and downs that happen to every relationship, successful couples learn the right way by managing those ups and downs together while keeping the love going. They come out successful in their marriage simply by hanging in there and leaning on one another despite the difficulties and troubles that stand in between them.

The same can also be said by learning how to maneuver together through the maze of complex issues that helped define daily life. Many couples have also learned to trust in other things, like reading and understanding self-help books, counseling, attending seminars, or casually observing how other successful couples live their lives. They all do these things through trial and error.

When Communication Becomes a Problem

There is that simple truth that all relationship woes stem from having poor communication. No individual in a relationship can ever communicate with his/her partner while watching TV, flipping through the pages of the sports section, or even while simply checking the Blackberry. Couples must understand that this is not the way to move forward. Time and effort must be invested to stay away from a troubled relationship.

Working it out is not really that hard, fortunately. In your case, you could try making actual appointments with your partner. If you are living together, care to put your phones on vibrate mode, get the kids to their bed, and simply let the voicemail pick up any incoming calls. Let the world pass you by and care less. The moment belongs to you both. This is a good sample on how to work around obstacles in this modern world.

If you seem that communication would be less likely without having to raise your voices, try to bond with your partner in public places (the library, restaurant, or parks, etc) where screaming at each other would be embarrassing to others around. You could also try to set up some rules like no interruptions when someone’s talking, or better yet banning certain phrases such as “You never…” or “You always…” For your part, you can use some body language just to show that you listen to your partner to what he/she has to say. This is important so you can set a “friendlier” tone in your conversation and show that you are interested in saving your troubled relationship.

When Sex Becomes a Problem

Even couples who love each other can obviously suffer from sexual incompatibility. This is a serious issue, which stems from a lack sexual education and self-awareness. It must be understood that sex is very sacred in this case. Experts everywhere cry out that sex brings couples much closer together. This releases those hormones that aid both of them in becoming physically and mentally compatible. It’s chemistry that keeps couples and relationships healthy together.

To get around this very, very serious problem, it would be wise to plan on how both of you could approach it together, complementing each other’s strengths and weaknesses. A good suggestion would be to create “special time together” appointments, except during night time when both of you are too tired from work. Many love the idea of a fast one before going to work. Maybe it could also work well in your case. It is through these simple things (no matter how unlikely they would seem to others) that create the conditions to save troubled relationships.

Differences in parenting styles are common in any intact marriage. Therefore, no one should be surprised when differences in parenting styles crop up in remarriages, as it is completely different from what online dating sites depict. When someone decides to enter into the role of the stepparent, they do so in a secondary role right at the start. Throw into the mix a high-conflict ex-partner who may feel their “territory” is threatened, and disagreements over when and how to discipline, reward, offer guidance, and help, etc. are almost a foregone conclusion.

It is strongly recommended that discussions about parenting styles and expectations be communicated long before the relationship advances to the point where parenting expectations are essential. The most important understanding should be about the need for disagreements between the two of you to manifest themselves in front of the children. The kids should never be caught up in the disagreements between parent and stepparent. This should serve as the foundation for establishing a parenting strategy for both of you.

Disagreements are inevitable and the two adults should make a commitment to one another to address any disputes with maturity, kindness, consideration, and a heap of patience. Problems should be addressed with a focus on the root cause of the disagreement. Only when you address the true root cause of any matter can you effectively implement a plan to correct it and prevent it from being a point of contention down the road. Perspective is a key ingredient. It’s important to be able to hear what’s facing one party or the other and work very hard to see the situation through their eyes. When you are able to do this, you are better able to work towards a meaningful resolution that benefits everyone, including the children. Don’t let high emotion cloud your ability to view the situation and work to resolve it. It’s easy to allow yourself to be swayed by emotion and anger. It takes practice and patience to set that aside to get to the root of the problem.

Accept that your view isn’t the only way to address a particular issue. Yes, there may exist an equally effective or better way to handle a family matter, and that source may be your partner. Swallow your pride, shelve your ego, and focus on problem-solving. Engage your partner to communicate. Be open-minded enough to consider a viewpoint other than your own.

Both of you should take the time to step back and “rate” the nature of the problem. People are often quite surprised to find that many of these situations are rather trivial in nature. When you do rate the issue as small in scale, it makes it easier for one party to defer to the other party, trying a different approach even if it is not one you necessarily agree with. These are the moments you can practice some level of objectivity with little risk and an opportunity to see what else may work. Resist the urge to place a great deal of importance on matters that are truly not so important in the grand scheme of things. You will encounter far more opportunities to reach compromise or try something different because most disagreements won’t rise to the level of a family crisis. Be flexible more often than you’re not. If the fix you choose doesn’t work out as anticipated, you can always reverse it or try another option.

Once you embrace the concepts that communication and consistency are key for both the parents and the children/stepchildren, the easier it becomes to work together to resolve those issues that invariably crop up during day-to-day life in a blended family household. How you handle disagreements sends a life-affecting message to the children. Remember that it’s okay for children to see that their caretakers have differences of opinion and it doesn’t matter if it’s biological parents or parent/stepparent. Demonstrate a united front. Show care and concern for the feelings of others. Indicate that you’re open-minded enough to consider the suggestions and opinions of your loved ones. When children see the mutual respect between the adults in the family, they learn to give it and receive it as they grew and establish their own relationships.

These approaches lead to a more harmonious household. They also provide the children with excellent lessons in problem-solving, mutual respect, love, care, and consideration of others. Set the example you want them to follow in all of their future interpersonal relationships.